Saturday, 2 January 2010


It was the first day of the year this week, and also the last day of the year but, get this, the LAST day came BEFORE the FIRST day! How does that work? I can't get my head around it, but I'm happy to let it go. The long man and the clippy cloppy woman both went out early on the last day of the year, and so, thinking I could have a lazy day, I settled down for a morning of snoozing, intending to entertain myself in the afternoon with a little gentle puppy pad shredding followed by a nice chew of the cushions. However, the long man came home within a couple of hours, whilst I was still fast asleep and dreaming of chewy lamp posts, which put paid to my plans. He did fetch me a sausage roll though so, you know, every cloud and all that jazz.

The long man and I had a good deal of quality time together for the remainder of the afternoon. He was in a very nice mood and was extremely well behaved. His training is going so well, I think it's about time I started concentrating on the clippy cloppy woman. If I don't take her in hand soon I fear she may turn feral, and it would break the long mans heart if I had to send her away.

The clippy cloppy woman arrived home quite some time later, and I thought we were going to eat. Instead, we jumped into the metal box thingy and went to visit the clicky ankled woman in Salford again. I was starving, but the long man did give me a few biscuits to tide me over, and I do love a nice biscuit. Only thing better than a nice biscuit is many nice biscuits.

When we arrived at the clicky ankled ladies house Audrey and the shouty woman were already there, as per usual. I must say, even if I do say so myself (And I DO say so myself) I think I am having rather a positive effect on Audrey. A little bit of that good Ronnie style and class seems to be rubbing off on her. She can still be a little stand-offish at times, but we seem to have reached the stage in our relationship where I can have a really good, deep, two nostrilled sniff of her backside without her turning around and biting me, which is nice.

We let the four people stay up late, they seemed to be having a good time and it was nice to watch them chatting, laughing and drinking those funny smelling drinks that make their legs go jiggly. Audrey and I got ourselves a comfortable spot on a spare chair and basically waited for them to tire themselves out so we could get a good nights rest. Just as they were beginning to quieten down, at around midnight, the long man turned the volume on the telly-thingy up loud. There was a dong dong dong noise, then they all cheered and started singing. Next thing you know there was what sounded like gunfire from outside and the sky lit up. I immediately thought that someone else had beaten me to it and started the revolution that I had been planning but no, fortunately, it was apparently just "those chavs from up the street" setting off fireworks. Phew.

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