Tuesday, 22 December 2009

Grudge match

Another busy day with the long man. My goodness he does require a lot of attention. Still, it stops him chewing the furniture, so it's worth it on that score since the clippy cloppy woman always blames me. Today he had an appointment, something to do with a "horse pickle" and having to see the peoples version of a vet, they call it a doctor. I do hope he's had to suffer the indignity of having a needle shoved into his backside like I had to a few weeks back. People say you shouldn't bear a grudge, but I don't see why not. A grudge is not, after all, a paricularly cumbersome object to keep about one's person. I intend to keep this grudge with me at all times. I'll prove the long man is no match for me.

And so, the day started with us jumping into the svan and heading off to Salford where the long man dropped me off to keep the lady with the clicky ankle company for a few hours. I spent most of my time in the back garden, which was today an Audrey free zone, and had some quite considerable success searching out the biscuits that were buried all over the place. Delicious. I do enjoy a nice biscuit.

The clicky ankled woman's house has carpet on every floor, which makes for a much more pleasant sitting, lying or rolling around experience, but I find the fluff gets stuck in my teeth when I'm munching on a pigs ear. Still, swings and roundabouts I suppose. And anyway, when the clicky ankled woman went in the kitchen I just jumped up on the settee and ate it there.

I am currently lay full stretch on the settee back at my house penning this entry. The clippy cloppy woman is still out, which means I have the long man at my beck and call. To entertain myself I have been occasionally wandering over to the kitchen door and barking so he has to come and open it for me, at which point I go back to the settee and have a little giggle to myself. Apparently I'm "fast becoming a pain in the backside"! Ha! I've no sympathy for him on that score, if he wants to know what a pain in the backside is really like he should try being inoculated. (Hmmm, maybe I AM becoming a little over fixated on that particular episode.)

Sunday, 20 December 2009

Cold calling

Whats the deal with all this white, flaky stuff falling from the sky and covering everything up? I believe it's called snow. It's pretty cool, in more ways than one. For one thing it makes it much easier to pick up my pee-mail, it's bright yellow and stands out like a sore claw. I heard the clippy cloppy woman say that I'm a Labrador, and that Labradors are bred for cold, snowy conditions. Well, all available evidence points to the fact that I am most certainly NOT a Labrador, because I am bloody freezing!

The long man, the clippy cloppy woman, the little people and I went to that place, the reserve wire, again today. Goodness me the little people were excited, they really should get out more bless them. They seemed to enjoy making balls out of the snow and throwing them at the long man, they're so easily amused, but I don't think the long man was as amused as the little people were.

After our walk we went to see Audrey, the shouty woman and the lady with the clicky ankle. When we were alone I plucked up the courage to ask Audrey what had happened to her ear. Apparently, her sister bit it off! I don't think I want to get too close to that particular branch of our family tree, not a very friendly bunch it would appear.

Finally, by George it was a busy day, we called on so many people, we went to see a lady that smells of cat. She looks very much like the clippy cloppy woman but is far more patient and friendly. We were there quite some time, and when we left we left the little people behind. I was shocked, I know they can be a bit of a handful and goodness knows I'm not their biggest fan but I must say I feel for them. I know the pain of being left in a rescue centre, people ooh-ing and ahh-ing at you but never stroking you or even giving you a little biscuit. (I love biscuits.) I do hope they find a good home soon, and in the meantime the cat lady seems quite nice so hopefully they won't be too sad. On the plus side, they won't be there to kick me out of their room, and there are so many chewable things as yet unchewed to chew. Woohoo.