Tuesday, 1 December 2009

Spinning beds and poorly heads

The long man is very excited at the moment. Yesterday he got his "pride and joy" back, a funny metal thing called a "Vespa". It's very noisy, very smoky, very smelly, and to cap it all since it returned to take up residence in MY back yard he's spent most of his time rubbing it with stuff and making it all shiny. I do hope the novelty wears off soon.

Went for a lovely long walk this afternoon, once I'd managed to drag him away from my main rival for his affections for long enough. We went to the shops. It took quite some time what with strangers bothering us every ten paces, and not very bright strangers either, ooohing and ahhhing like demented morons, but we eventually made it there and back. Oh and speaking of morons, I'm sure he thinks I'm one too! Whenever I take him out he stops at every road and says "wait Ronnie wait", and then tells me when it's safe to cross over. The cheek of it. As if I'm not capable of assertaining when its safe to cross a bloody road. I mean come on, how much brain power does it take to know not to step in front of one of those big, metal, smelly things? I swear he'll be reminding me to breathe next.

Later on the long man left his drink on the floor while he went to pee in the bowl upstairs that I drink from at night. (Not sure if that particular practice is the most hygenic but I'll let it slide for now since I do have a habit of peeing where he keeps his shoes.) Anyway, I digress. Since he was gone I thought I'd finish the drink off, it's apparently called "whine" which I've always thought an odd name. Now, however, I can see where that comes from! My goodness I was poorly, I whined like a baby. The room went all wonky and things kept spinning around me. I thought I'd best go to bed but the bed wouldn't stay still long enough. At one point I thought to myself "When that bed comes around again I'm on it" but by George it was going so fast I completely missed and banged my chin on the chair leg. Cue more whining from yours truly. Eventually I found it was easier to crawl on my belly and sneak up on it. Result. Never drinking that stuff again.

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