Tuesday, 24 November 2009

False economy

I'm sorry I haven't updated my blog in a while but, oooh, I have been poorly! The long man and the clippy cloppy woman decided, in their infinite wisdom, to save themselves thirty pence a can on my puppy food and buy me some own brand rubbish! False economy if you ask me, they must've wasted more than they saved in the extra cleaning materials they've been using. It did taste ok I must admit, and I ate rather a lot of it, but oh my goodness I've suffered since! Talk about the squits, I haven't stopped. I've not passed a solid stool since Saturday and at this rate my bottom hole is in danger of healing up.

On the plus side, my poorly tummy has given me the revenge I longed for after they took me for my inoculations. The long man's spent most of his time on his hands and knees cleaning up my hot, sticky, gloopy poop. HA. Now I need to come up with a devilishly clever form of retribution to make up for being forced to eat a can of cows feet, gums, eyelids and bumholes. No wonder it was so bloody cheap. In my experience, if something sounds too good to be true it generally is.

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