Wee sports

I have noticed that those little people seem to spend all their spare time sitting gazing at the television. I've never seen the attraction myself. That is to say, until today! I saw the most amazing show, it's called "one dog and his man" or some such thing, but the title isn't important. Basically it's a competition, I'm not too sure of the rules, but you get to chase sheep all over a massive field and then get given a biscuit, and we all know how much I love a nice biscuit. I think I could grow to love chasing sheep also. I'm going to apply to be on the show next year I think.

I'm not sure if I've mentioned this previously, but for some strange reason (a very welcome reason, but strange none the less.) I get given a biscuit every time I do a wee outside. Never when I wee inside though, not sure why that's the case, a wee's a wee after all, but I digress. I have recently discovered that if, part way through a wee, I clench the muscles in my intimate feminine area, I can stop the wee mid flow, at which point I get given a biscuit. Then it's simply a case of relaxing a little and letting nature take it's course before, yes you've guessed it, that gormless long man gives me a second biscuit. Two biscuits per wee, that's a one hundred per cent rise in productivity, or profit, or something like that. Whichever way you look at it, it's a result.